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Stolen from actionchicka
01.04.05 (1:38 pm)   [edit]

Stolen from pinknixie's blog!

(*) Been drunk
(*) Kissed a member of the opposite sex
(*) Kissed a member of the same sex
( ) Crashed a friends car
( ) Been to Japan
(*) Ridden in a taxi
(*) Been in love
(*) Been dumped
( ) Shoplifted
( ) Been fired
(*) Been in a fist fight
(*) Snuck out of my parents house
( ) Had a crush on someone of the same sex
( ) Dated someone of the same sex   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;  (*) Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back
( ) Been arrested
(*) Made out with a stranger
(*) Made a booty call
(*) Been a booty call
(*) Stole something from my job
( ) Celebrated New Years in Times Square
(*) Gone on a blind date (dont advise it)
(*) Lied to a friend
(*) Have a friend lie to me
(*) Had a crush on a teacher
( ) Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans
( ) Been to Europe
(*) Skipped school
(*) Slept with a co-worker
( ) Cut myself on purpose
(*) Been married
( ) Gotten divorced
(*) Had children
( ) Seen someone die
( ) Been to Africa
( ) Had a crush on one of my Tblog/Internet friends
(*) Slapped someone I love
( ) Driven over 400 miles to attend a show/festival
( ) Been to Canada
(*) Been to Mexico
(*) Been on a plane
( ) Thrown up in a bar
(*) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
( ) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been snowboarding
(*) Met someone in person from the internet
( ) Been moshing at concerts
(*) Been in an abusive relationship
(*) Been pregnant or got someone pregnant
(*) Lost a child
( ) Graduated college
( ) Tried killing yourself
(*) Intentionally burned yourself
(*) Wished someone died
( ) Wished someone dead right now
(*) Admitted to a big mistake
(*) Been misunderstood
(*) Told someone I hated them when I didn’t
(*) Told someone I loved them when I didn’t
(*) Love or miss someone right now


 
How do you manage to spend your birthday in jail?
12.09.04 (6:48 pm)   [edit]
So, my family is far from normal. My older brother P.J. has some serious issues that he does not want to face. Today is his 24th birthday and he's in jail. I guess he has been pushing his wife around again. I feel bad for the both of them and I feel especially bad for my niece and nephew. My brother and his wife should have never gotten married in the first place but seeing as they did, I feel bad that it's not working out for them. My brother has been calling my grandparents to bail him out which by the way it's 5 grand! They refuse to to do it. Last time he got locked up they bailed him out and they just don't have the money to do it again. I talked to my grandma a little while ago and she told me she was crying in the shower. That hurt me so much. My grandma is a tough woman and I have never seen her cry...not even at funerals. So for me to hear that she was crying was like a knife in my heart. My grandparents raised my brother and honestly he is spoiled rotten. I know that they want to borrow money to get him out but at the same time they know that they must leave him there. He is a grown man. He put himself in that situation. I'm so scared because this time I think she is going to leave him for good. My brother is not stable and can be suicidal. What will he do to himself if she leaves? God only knows! I love my brother and yet I hate him because he is ignorant and stubborn. I wish I could make him get help. I wish I could make him seek psychological help. He denies he needs any...he thinks nothing is wrong with him. I don't know what is going to happen to him but I think he is looking at a year. Goodnight everyone. Goodnight P.J. I wish I could help you but first you must help yourself. I love you.
 
Life without my husband
12.07.04 (6:34 pm)   [edit]
It's been so hard without Lester. I miss him so much. He has been gone for 3 months and will not be returning for another 4 months. I don't know what's going on with me tonight but I'm really emotional. I hate being here in Texas, I want to go home. I miss the Cali life but then again I'm scared to go back. I don't think I've fully healed from certain situations. Going back to CA means facing those situations and reliving them. I thought I finally had things figured out...I was wrong. What is wrong with me? Why is life so hard? Why can't I forget about things and move on? Somedays are fine and then there are days like today! For the past couple of hours something inside keeps hurting. I don't know what it is...maybe it's what we call a heart. Why am I crying? Why do I feel so empty? Why am I so confused? Life is supposed to be getting better for me. I have my own family now and hopefully soon we'll be adding to it. God, I wish I could be happy. I need Lester so bad. I need him to be home (wherever that is?) I need him to hold me and let me know that everything will be ok. I need to hear I love you. I was looking through some stuff and I found a card from him that he gave me in high school. It was so sweet. After I read it I thought to myself 'damn he has loved me for so long' I'm just amazed to this day that out of all the girls he dated, he wanted me to be his wife. ME, the girl who was so into herself...the girl who didn't give a fuck about anyone...the girl who left him to move to L.A...the girl that never bothered to write him while he was at boot camp. Now three yrs later we're married and here I am...waiting.
 
Marines face new kind of fight in Iraq
11.03.04 (6:24 am)   [edit]

****My husband's comment is in Bold****


Marines face new kind of fight in Iraq


Edward Wong,  New York Times
October 24, 2004 CORP1024









RAMADI, IRAQ -- The Marines in Ramadi are still searching for their kind of war.


It is not for lack of an enemy. In the heart of this provincial capital, where the Marines routinely run convoys and patrols down a 4½-mile stretch of road, hidden bombs explode daily, leaving Americans riddled with shrapnel, if not ripped apart.


Guerrillas pop out and take shots with AK-47s and rocket-propelled grenades. The Marines are even exposed at bases at each end of the downtown area -- mortar shells hit regularly, and snipers' bullets occasionally zing through the air.


But when the Marines fire back or give chase, they find the insurgents have slipped into the palm groves and narrow alleys and mosques, melting in with the civilians and floating away like so many dust motes.


"This phase is a lot worse than the first part of the war," said Staff Sgt. Jose Gomez, 28, of Beeville, Texas, just back from 24-hour guard duty at the besieged government center downtown. "They know we're here; they know what we do; they know our routine. We're used to coming in, blowing stuff up. Now we wait to get hit."


To listen to these Marines is to hear the voices of young men frustrated by an adaptable and often unseen foe. Many said they were willing, even eager, to do battle. And their anxieties have not resulted in outright rebellion, as did those of an Army Reserve platoon that refused on Oct. 13 to transport fuel through insurgent-controlled territory on what it called a "suicide mission."


But members of the 2nd Battalion, 5th Marines are no longer taking the offensive against a conventional army, as they did during their first tour in the spring of 2003. Now they are fighting a guerrilla war, which has proved a much greater challenge than many of them once thought -- a sentiment echoed by troops across Iraq.


The battalion arrived on the front lines with the insurgents in early September, in a dense Sunni-dominated city that is virulently hostile to the U.S. occupation. The city of 400,000 is the capital of Anbar Province, which includes the insurgent stronghold of Fallujah. Some U.S. officials insist that they must regain control in the province for legitimate elections to take place in January.


In six weeks in Ramadi, six members of this battalion have been killed and at least 72 wounded.


"It's scary sometimes," said a hospital corpsman, Hulester Holley, 21, of Tulare, Calif. "Sometimes we get hit so quick I don't know who's hit or what the injuries are."


In this guerrilla war, the Marines said, strict rules of engagement have kept their hands tied. They said the Iraqi police and National Guard are unhelpful at best and enemy agents at worst, raising doubts about President Bush's assertion that local forces would soon help relieve the policing duties of the 138,000 U.S. troops in Iraq.


The Marines said that they could use better equipment from the Pentagon and that they fear that Americans are ignorant of the hardships they face.


The day-to-day goal of the Marines in Ramadi is to keep open and secure the major east-west artery, which runs through the downtown area and which the Marines call Route Michigan. The main 4½-mile stretch runs past a crowded market and several mosques, all peppered with insurgents. Commanders say the U.S. presence in town is crucial to keeping Ramadi from becoming another Fallujah. The Marines have bases on each end and four observation posts in buildings along the way, the most crucial one inside the provincial government compound, which overlooks the market and is attacked almost daily.


The biggest question


"This isn't hell, but what we do is hell," said Sgt. Clarence Sentell, 25, of Artesia, N.M.


The biggest question, the Marines said, is whether the Iraqi people want them here at all.


"This is Vietnam," said Cpl. Daniel Planalp, 21, of San Diego. "I don't even know why we're over here fighting. We're fighting for survival. The Iraqis don't want us here. If they wanted us here, they'd help us. They're certainly not helping us in this city."


Planalp was speaking while driving a Humvee in a 10-vehicle convoy that crosses Route Michigan twice a day to deliver food to bases. Some Marines call the run "the suicide train."


On one recent morning, nine bombs went off or were discovered on the route, an average of one every half-mile.


During the invasion, "we knew who we were fighting," said Lt. Jeff Tew, 24, the convoy commander. "They wore uniforms. They stood and fought. We're not trained for this, but we're getting better."


"Iraq is sort of a keystone in the Middle East," said Cpl. Gene Harper, 32, a former Manhattan resident who enlisted the day after the Sept. 11 attacks in 2001. "If we can make this a model for security and stability, other countries in the Middle East will follow."


In the government center, Cpl. John Rios, 29, of Corpus Christi, Texas, rested on a cot and said, "Before, during the invasion, it was a free-fire zone."


"Now, we have a lot of rules of engagement to protect the civilians," he said. "But the enemy doesn't follow the same rules as we do. They use civilians as shields; they use mosques against us; they use graveyards."


The solution was to let the Iraqi security forces take charge, he added, "but honestly, they're not ready."


Gunnery Sgt. Carlos Jaime, 35, sitting beside Rios, said: "I don't know if they're intimidated or scared, or maybe they share the feeling that we don't belong here. I don't know what it is."


'Caught in between'


The Marines expressed just as much frustration at the relative lack of helpfulness among local civilians.


"We fight the muj, and they're caught in between," said Cpl. Shane Joyner, 23, of Yerington, Nev., using the shorthand term for mujahedeen. "I think there'd be a lot more outward support if the muj weren't around."


Sgt. Kevin Armentrout, 24, of Lakeland, Fla., said during a poker game: "It's just like growing up in the ghetto. If the cops roll in and ask where the crack dealers are, they're not going to tell. Nobody wants that problem."


The sergeant said one thing the Marines could use from the Pentagon is better gear. Marines traditionally complain that the Army gets the best equipment. But given the perils of this war, he said, it is criminal that some Marines have to use makeshift armored vehicles, driving around in trucks with welded doors that look like "something out of Mad Max."


The 2nd Battalion, 4th Marines, which preceded this battalion in Ramadi, suffered numerous casualties because of a shortage of properly armored vehicles, the Marines in Ramadi said.


Back in a bunkhouse at the Snake Pit, Marines mulled over what Americans back home think of them and whether they are fighting a forgotten war in a forgotten land.


"They don't have a clue what's going on here," said Cpl. Patrick Hansen, 24, of Tewksbury, Mass. "The Iraq story will come in fourth on the TV news, behind Betsy the Cow having a first-prize calf at the county fair. Then it'll go back to Bob the weatherman."


"All I heard back home was, 'Once we get Osama, this whole thing will be over,' " he said. "It's like the Iraqis here saying, 'Once we get rid of Saddam, it'll be over.' Well, right now, it's far from over."


 


Picture of My Hubby: http://www.nytimages.com/portal/wieck_preview_ page_160421" title="http://www.nytimages.com/portal/wieck_preview_ page_160421" target="_blank"http://www.nytimages.com/port...

 
Ok day
10.11.04 (6:12 pm)   [edit]

I had a parent/teacher conference to go to today. My daughter's teacher said that she is doing well...what a relief! I thought the teacher was going to tell me that my daughter does not listen and can't sit still..lol But she said Kanani is doing well and she gets along with everyone. Well people out in Blog Land I have to go. My daughter has gymnastics in a little while. Don't forget to check out my website. Thanks.

 
Tired of Iraq
10.01.04 (11:17 pm)   [edit]

First I'd like to say that Kerry with no doubt won the debate! Bush looked so stupid and was stuttering like crazy...what a jackass!


Well I heard from my hubby on thursday @ 2:30 a.m. It was so nice to hear his voice and know that he is ok. The only thing that scares me is that he said the fighting is worst than the first time he went, which was in 2003 at the beginning of the war. Right now its raining and I can't stop thinking of him. I'm supposed to be doing my report that is due sunday but I don't want to. I think I'm going to write him a letter instead...Well this month on the 17th it will be our 6 month anniversary. I can't believe we've been married for 6 months and hopefully in 6 months I'll get to see him. I hope he only stays out there for 7 months and no more. I want to have a real marriage. I want to live with my husband like normal people. But anyways back to the debate...Bush sucks. I made a shirt today that says: Fuck Iraq, Bring Our Troops Back! Vote For Kerry. I registered to vote last month and I can't wait to vote. I really hope that Kerry wins. I think Kerry would be an excellent president. He has goals set, he has a plan....Bush has only given us empty promises! Overall I believe that Bush has did nothing but screw us over and kill our soldiers.


I'm so tired so I'm signing off. Hopefully my husband will call me tonight (probably not) Goodnight everyone on the net.

 
yadda yadda
09.20.04 (6:52 am)   [edit]
Well I'm watching 7th Heaven because lord knows why??? Man, this show is sooo sappy. Its a good show but the topics seem so fake. Anywho, where are all the military wives at in here???? I'm going to send a package, order checks,and transfer money to my account wednesday. My husband doesn't believe in checks so he never ordered any. So until I get checks for our account i have to transfer money from our account to mine so i can use my checks...GRRR. Its ok though. I have to pay for my rings by the 3rd. I just realized I'm such a brat. I gave a list of stuff that I wanted to my husband back in July..and he got me everything plus some. We were lookin at tennis braclets and we walked out of the jewerly store with the braclet and a ring (one of the ones I have to pay for) He got me everything before he left since he is not going to be here for the holidays. Well speaking of material items..I need another Dooney and Bourke purse. I see so many young girls with the same purse @ my brothers high school..Mainly because its a preppy h.s. Maybe I'll get another Coach purse instead! Damn I'm bored.
 
My phone call
09.19.04 (1:08 am)   [edit]

Today my husband called at 4:oo a.m. that would make it 1 in Iraq. But anyways I was excited to know that he is ok and to just hear his voice. I miss him so much. He gave me a list of stuff he needs and he told me that I need to send him a lot of letters and pictures. A few guys and him are trying to see who will get the most packages, letters, and/or pictures. So I have to beat the other wives. If anyone has a few ideas for packages please let me know. Well I have a 2 page research paper due today at 12 so I guess I better go finish it. Good Morning everyone and peace out.




 
Iraq
09.16.04 (5:24 am)   [edit]

 

:cry: I miss my husband so much. He left to Iraq sept. 3rd. Anyone who is reading this please vote. I hate our president. He is a jack ass. I don't understand why we are in Iraq. 1,000+ of our soldiers have died...and for what? Our they protecting our country? The answer is no. They are invading a country not because they want to but because some jackass keeps sending our troops out there! Don't get me wrong I DO SUPPORT OUR TROOPS! I just don't support our president!
 
Deployment to Iraq coming soon...
08.24.04 (7:14 am)   [edit]

Well my husband is suppose to leave on the 1st or 2nd. I decided to fly out there this past weekend (20-22) It was amazing to be with him again. I love him so much and to feel him next to me was the best feeling. Leaving him was so hard because I know he is leaving soon. I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life. Everyone keeps telling me "he'll be ok" or "he'll come back," and as much as I want to believe this...there are no guarantees! Only god knows what will happen. Another thing people keep telling me is "oh, well its not that bad over there anymore!" My thought is how the hell would you know? If you haven't been there, then you don't actually know how it is. The news only shows you bits and pieces. Experiencing it is totally different. I can't even comment on anything because I don't know shit. All I know is what my dad, uncles, and husband tell me. And my husband's response to "he'll be ok" is---->"easier said then done!"


Doc Holley I love you!!!!

 
My daughter
08.02.04 (9:36 pm)   [edit]
Today my daughter Kanani had her first gymnastics class. She did very well! I felt a little sad watching her because with everyday that passes, she is growing. Pretty soon she'll be living me...Well I actually have 13 more years with her but I know it will fly by. She'll be 5 On 9/11. And she is also starting school on the 16th of this month. Kids just grow so fast. You have to enjoy it while it lasts.
 
Depressing
07.22.04 (6:01 pm)   [edit]
Reading some of these blogs is depressing. I just don't know how some people can hate life so much. I know life sucks at times but things get better. Nothing can stay the same..everything changes. All I know is that I love myself too much to take my life. Nor would I ever want to leave the people in my life. My family especially my husband and my daughter mean everything to me!!
Speaking of my husband, it is almost time for him to leave to Iraq. :cry: I'm so scared. I keep thinking what if something happens..what if he gets hurt?..what if they keep them out there longer than 7 months? I don't know what I would do. Before I left Cali we were laying down, he was kind of laying on top of me. My shoulder felt a little wet. I told him 'damn babe its hot in here, you're sticking to me.' So then he moved and I felt my shoulder and it felt really wet but not from sweat. So then I rolled over towards him and touched his face..His cheeks were wet. I asked him why he was crying and he couldn't talk to me. He reached for his phone and texted me: Y am i crying? B/c im scared i might not make it back and b able 2 take care of MY family (u and Kanani)
Earlier that day he started watching Black Hawk Down and he had to turn it off. I understand why he is scared..things have gotten worst since the first time he was there. I'm trying my best to stay calm and I'm trying not to cry but it just sucks. But then again he knew what he was getting into when he signed on that line and I knew what I was getting into when I signed on the line too. Military life has so many good things about it but it also comes with seperation and heartache.
 
I don't know what to do..I feel like shit
07.18.04 (9:04 pm)   [edit]
Now that I'm thinking about it, my husband is soo shady!!! I love him to death but can I trust him? Shit, I don't even know! Its so hard to trust someone when they've fucked up so many times. What hurts even more is the fact that I can't trust my husband, someone I love so much. I love him with all my heart. I just don't know how things are going to work out between us. I try to work things out but in the back of my head I don't know if I really want to. Don't get me wrong, the last thing I want is a divorce! Its just that I don't see him changing. He always tells me he is sorry and that he is going to change and yadda yadda yadda, but he never does. A week later he'll fuck up again. He doesn't understand how much he hurts me. Its one thing to be hurt by someone but its just hurts so much more when its the person you plan on spending the rest of your life with. I've known him for so long and I used to think that he would never cheat on me but now I think differently. He has girls calling his phone and MULTIPLE texts from one girl that is his "friend." What hurt me so bad was that in one of them he texted her "You know I'm married but I'm trying to cut." When I asked him about that he said he was just joking. He said he always jokes with her and that he didn't mean it. Shit, the way I see it..you don't joke about your marriage especially to some female. UNLESS you really want out of the marriage or you don't give a fuck about it. That is just disrespectful!!! I feel like he doesn't appreciate me and that he just has no respect for me at all. I don't feel like his wife. I have to look at my 1.75 ring to remind me. This whole situation sucks and its breaking me down. Hell right now at this very moment I want to cry. Lester doesn't understand how much he is tearing me apart. I just don't know what to do because we are so far apart. I think there is so much that he is not telling me. I can't do it anymore. If he fucks up again(I mean when), he has to get kicked to the curb. I guess only time will tell...It all lies in Lester's hands.
 
Home from Cali
07.18.04 (8:11 pm)   [edit]
I went to Cali on the 7th to the 14th. Well actually I missed my flight and came home on the 15th. I had so much fun. My husband and I had do good times. But we did hit a rough spot. Let me start from the begining. Lester had 2wks of leave. He went home to visit family and friends. When he left home he went straight to San Diego to spend time with me. Well we were getting ready to leave somewhere and he ran into the house to get something. While I was waiting I grabbed his digital camera and started looking @ the pics. Wow. I was surprised. There were pictures of one of his friends eating some girl out...I automatically got pissed. My thoughts were: why does he have the pics on here?, who took the pics?, where was he?, and why the fuck would he have these at all? Well when he got in the truck I showed him what I found. He told me,"Man, I wasn't there! I let Jason borrow my camera. I'm suppose to put those pics on a cd for him." My response was,"Why the fuck would u let him borrow ur camera to take pics like this? Even if you didn't know what he was going to use the camera for, why didn't you erase the pics as soon as you seen what they were? We argued about it for a bit then finally I dropped it. BUT THEN!!!! Lester decided to go to the store to go get ice cream, I stayed and checked out the pics on his computer...Well guess what I found? Yup, more pics of girls. The girls were in the back seat of someones car/truck...and it looked like Lesters! So I payed attention to detail and then when Lester got back, I told him to open the truck. Then I checked out the back seat and sure enough it was Lesters truck in the pics. I went back into the house and told him to come up to the room so i could show him something..I got onto the computer and showed him the pics.
Me: I could be wrong but this looks like your truck. Its your truck huh?
Lester: Yeah
Me: Oh I see, you know what...FUCK YOU. You are a fuckin liar, you said u let Jason borrow your camera. i thought you weren't there!
Lester: Man this was a different night
Me: Oh, a different night?! Dude, I fuckin hate you. You are a liar.
Lester: How am I liar? Huh..
(I walk out and slam the door)

Blah blah blah...Its a long story but we didn't talk for awhile and then when we did things were still shitty! I told him that I don't trust him and its impossible to have a marriage without trust. I also told him that he takes advantage of our situation. He thinks that just because we live apart, he can do whatever he wants. Its not even like that. I don't care if I lived in another fuckin country, regardless he is still married. He needs to act like a husband. He needs to show me respect. I'll continue in a few minutes.....
 
My Hubby
06.25.04 (10:19 pm)   [edit]
Oh how I miss my husband. I love him so much and I have a week and a half left until I go to CALI. I can't wait to touch him... :wink: Damn he is so sexy. But anyways the house is so quiet because everyone is gone, they all went to CALI until the 30th. I had to postpone my trip to the 7th because I have finals the 5th and 6th. Which reminds me....I hate English Comp!!!! This class has really sucked, hell psychology is easier! I am loving my Psyc class. I am really interested in Forensic Psychology..Well I'm tired and I have to call my husband before I go to sleep.
 
Tupac Resurrection
06.25.04 (11:10 am)   [edit]
I just watched this movie and it was very interesting. I never realized the type of person Tupac was. He was always portrayed as a thug or hoodlum. In reality he was a very deep, caring, and giving individual. He cared about "his people" he wanted to help those that were living in poverty. Don't get me wrong, he did have his wild 'don't give a fuck' side. He was also very intelligent. He says a lot of things in the movie that moved me. I would highly recommend this movie. I'm not one to get into 'rap' movies because you usually hear all kinds of stupid shit like 'yo dawg' 'fuck this...fuck that' 'nigga this..nigga that' ...I hate that! This movie does have strong language but hey thats Tupac for ya. :wink: Its awesome....watch it.
I WANT TO CLARIFY MYSELF! WHEN I SAID 'HIS PEOPLE' I WAS NOT TRYING TO CATEGORIZE ANY TYPE OF SPECIFIC GROUP OF PEOPLE. I WAS JUST USING TUPAC'S OWN WORDS!
 
I am so scared
06.18.04 (5:02 pm)   [edit]
I have experienced the whole deployment thing before but never have I experienced my love one being on ground in a war zone. Whenever my dad would leave, he was on a carrier. I never really worried that much about him. I'm so scared for my husband. Especially with the whole killing and beheading of Americans. My heart goes out to the families. The thought of these sick bastards makes me ill. When I think of these animals it puzzles me, how they can chop off another human being's head. I could never kill someone and I surely could not behead them. What a bunch of sick and twisted animals they are!! I say we bomb Iraq..J/K. But as I said before; I think we need to leave Iraq and let their country go to shit!!! If they don't give a fuck about us then why should we give a fuck about them and their shit hole of a country!?!
 
No no no
06.17.04 (7:40 am)   [edit]
So my husband was suppose to leave to Iraq for 7-9 months but now it might be 9-12 months. This really sucks. I love the military, it's all I've ever known. The one thing that I hate is when they have to leave for extended periods of time because you never know exactly how long they will be gone. One day it may be 6 months, the next day it will be 9 months, and then while they are out there they hear a year. You just never know until one day they come home. I'm so scared. I wish he didn't have to go. :cry: One good thing is that I'm going out to Cali next month to see him. My daughter and I will be going for a week. :lol:
 
Trouble in Paradise?
06.07.04 (2:00 pm)   [edit]
Not even two months of marriage yet and we've hit a bump in the road. It's everything including money issues. My husband being so far away sometimes takes advantage of the distance. He'll go out all night and not call. I don't know about others wives, but this wife does not go for that. How hard is it to pick up the phone and let me know that you're going out? I'm ok with him going out. I'm not trying to keep him locked up. All I'm asking is for a simple phone call..Is that too much to ask for? Another issue is money. He's in the military so he gets a pay increase for being married. I have yet to see any of this money! We still have seperate accounts and there has been little talk about a joint account. I am constanly trying to talk about these things because he'll be leaving for Iraq soon. You would think he would get on the ball and take care of all this I wrote him an email last night this is how it went:(Keep in mind that I was extremely pissed because he didn't call all night...AGAIN)

I don't know what your excuse is for last night but i don't want to hear it. you probably think i'm always bitchin, which you're right. i am always bitchin about something and i hate it. I've told you so many times that no matter what give me a call and let me know what is going on. if you were busy last night then you should of called and told me!! i hate when you do this shit. in the past week, you've called me twice. whats up with that? it really does seem like you have given up some. before we were married you called me all the time, you wanted to talk to me all the time. now, you call me here and there whenever you're not busy. fuck that! i'm not having it. you must of forgot who you married. i can only put up with so much. if i let you do this shit to me, you'll think its ok and that you can keep on. but i'm letting you know right now that i'm not having it. if you want to go do your thing and feel like you don't have to call your WIFE then do it..but you'll be watching this marriage go downhill.
I never expected to get married. i never really wanted to get married, that is until we got back in touch. i think you are the perfect guy for me. i love you so much and i want to be with you forever. you make it so hard though. it seems like you've changed. i'm not happy and you obviously don't think it's serious. i'm letting you know right now that it is. babe i want us to work out. i can't do this by myself. it's 50/50. but lately i've been carrying all the weight. be a husband to me. act like a husband. since we got married i've had to tell you what needs to be done and when. damn, you're a grown man and you need to take care of your family. get shit together and have respect for me. thats all i'm asking. i'm not trying to bash you. you're an awesome guy but as a husband you need some work. think about what you want. think about us. truely think about it. don't call me after you read this...spend the day thinking about us and call me when you're ready.

Love wifey
 
Memory
05.27.04 (9:52 pm)   [edit]
This may never start.
We could fall apart.
And I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.
I'll tear us apart.
Cannot be your enemy.
Losing half a year.
Waiting for you here
I'd be your anything.

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.
Tearing out my heart.
I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
(I'd be your memory)
Feelings disappear.
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.

This may never start.
We could fall apart
And I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?

 
Doesn't make sense
05.25.04 (7:50 pm)   [edit]
Why is that people read your blog and don't comment on what they read? Don't get me wrong, I write in my blog to get things off my chest. I do it for me not for others. Yet at the same time many people are reading it. They are reading my inner thoughts, they are reading about my life, they don't know me but yet they know what is going on in my life. I put myself out there and so far 315 people have read about it and I only have 5 comments..LOL. I guess I'm not interesting..Sorry. My other blog is filled with my complete drama. Well good night everyone. Oh and guess what Lakers won.
 
My husband
05.19.04 (8:14 pm)   [edit]
I'm talking to husband right now. He's out in the field with the Marines. He's doing nothing right now except making me laugh. He's funny. He was talking to me all sweet and then he started to act bad with me. I asked him what his problem was and he told me "Oh sorry babe but my boy was standing right next to me and I had to act like I was the boss." That made me laugh. He knows who runs the show....ME.
 
Not so good
05.15.04 (7:54 pm)   [edit]
Tomorrow i have to go job hunting. I quit my job last sunday because it really sucked. I'm ok for right now but I need to find something soon. Hopefully they Mr. Jaime calls me next week with some good news. But anyways, GO LAKERS. Let's see if they can do it again. If anyone believes in prayer, pray for me. I'm soo stressed out, I just need some luck to come my way. Thanks to whoever actually prays!!!
 
Go Lakers
05.13.04 (8:44 pm)   [edit]
I don't know who caught the game tonight but it was awesome. Just when I thought the Lakers were going to lose..here came Fisher. With .4 seconds left he made the winning shot. It was great! I am so glad the won the Spurs. I hate the damn San Antonio Spurs. I hate Texas.
 
Beheading of an American
05.12.04 (8:04 pm)   [edit]
I just seen the full footage of the gruesome death of Nick Berg. It was so awful. I seen that so many people had watched it, so I wanted to see it. I wanted to see what happened and now I'm shocked. I can't believe these people could be ok with taking a human being's life. These people are disgusting and heartless. They have no regard for life itself. This all stems from the abuse OUR soldiers inflicted on the Iraqis. All along these people were looking for revenge, and WE gave them something to hate us even more. How can our own be so stupid? I know that this handful of soldiers do not represent the military as a whole. And I try to keep in mind that these murderers do not represent the Iraqis as a whole. Islam does not encourage such violence, so why is it that they always say they are doing such things for their religion? Total bullshit. I have read the Qu'ran and the prophet himself said 'There is a reward for kindness to every living animal or human.'
 
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